I heard a guy make a simple yet very profound statement today. He said, "relationships are messy." We hear that and quickly think well no sh*#, but do we really get that simple fact? When I talk to young couples getting ready to get married I enjoy how naive they are before walking down the aisle. They picture a
story book romance where they will both make great money, never lose their young good looks, and the romance will be as hot as Arizona asphalt in August. And they get married and they may actually have all those things for...two weeks. No they may actually have all of those things for quite some time, but eventually LIFE HAPPENS. Eventually things just get messy and that is when you realize that love isn't just something you feel, but it has to be something you DO.
When I perform marriage ceremonies I remind people that love is to labor, learn, listen, and laugh. We have to always be willing to work on our relationships. They can truly get messy and we have to be willing to work very hard to clean up the mess. We have to be willing to learn from our partners. They may actually know
a little more than us about certain topics. It is exhausting to be around people who think they are always right or who always have to be instructing and never listening. Listening is so very important. This is especially true for women. Guys they want you to listen and NOT tell them to get straight to the point. And then there is the ability to laugh at each other and ESPECIALLY at ourselves. We can't take life too seriously and not be willing to admit when we are being silly or unreasonable.
I don't say this to brag, but I have a great marriage. Honestly, just last night I was looking at my wife across the table at dinner with some friends and I was overwhelmed. I can't believe that this beautiful woman is my wife. I look forward to coming home to her every day. However, there have been many times where it got messy...very messy. There were times we could have
cashed it in or just said it's too hard, but we didn't. And it is through wading through some of those messes and being willing to do the work to clean it up, that I am able to say that our marriage is very good. So I say all this to say if your marriage is really a mess right now, it doesn't have to stay that way. Take the time to get some help and remember that with some laboring, learning, and listening...you can find that love and laughter again.
Love Ya,
Tony
Tony Russell, MA
Registered Counselor with Morgan Counseling
For an appointment call Angela at 425-430-9548